Self-sacrificing = Pain? I'm cool with that.

Another weekend is coming to an end but it's been such a great and refreshing one. We've been talking more about our passion in church and this morning we talked about how you can't have passion without pain. Now at first this was confusing to me because why would the Lord put something like working with orphans on my heart if he intended to bring some sort of pain out of it? I just didn't understand and for a minute was mad because this (me finding my passion and what not) has brought nothing but joy to me for the past week and a half. And then I was zoned out wondering how something this great would end up bringing me pain at some point. 

I'm automatically thinking worse case scenario...I'm going to get to do this but not in the time frame that I'd like or It won't be as long term as I'd like or there's always the WORST worse case scenario, this will cause me to sacrifice being a wife and a mom one day. I'm just sitting there at this point mad at myself for not thinking about how this decision would impact me when I let myself get all worked up by it, and then I heard Pastor say that passion hurts because it hurts to care.

I immediately felt this calming rush over me. The Lord gave me this passion to work with kids and I know that that may eventually lead me to other countries. It's going to require sacrifice on my part and even on the part of others that I've become close to or have yet to meet yet (hint hint...hubs). The sacrifice won't be easy because I love living in Boone and I love that I'm so close to my family and can see them or talk to them whenever I want basically. That's my comfort zone, and the Lord wants to stretch me. I realized then that I hadn't fully given my purpose over to Him. I thought I had but seeing myself get so scared of things possibly not working out my way showed otherwise. I love those kids that I'll be helping one day already. And in 1 Corinthians 13:7 it says "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”, because of that verse I know that my family and friends will support me wherever the Lord ends up sending me. So as of today (January 15, 2012) my purpose is completely out of my hands. Check out Matthew 16:24-26..."Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the drivers seat; I am. Don't run from sacrifice; embrace it. Follow me and i'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self." What He has planned for me is going to be so great and I'm realizing more and more each day that I'm destined to do great things for the kingdom, greater even then I can realize right now. He's so great about how He reveals things to us, sometimes over time and sometimes just all at once but it's never more then you're ready for. All you have to do is ask Him because He's so eager for us to realize our purpose so He can watch us walk it out. Ask Him. I dare ya. Better yet I double dog dare ya and you know you can't turn that down.